The Lord is my strength

 My heart has been heavy lately, mourning the loss of a very dear cousin and friend.  She brought such joy to so many.  We all loved her so much.  It’s been heartbreaking, especially watching her husband and two little kids suffer through such pain.  The absolute most heartbreaking moment of the whole thing was when my little cousin found out that her mom had died.  She was wailing in absolute terror.  I had just gotten home from church right after she was told, and she came running out to me, grabbed on to me and screamed that “Daddy just said Mommy died.” All I could do was hold her and cry with her. 

I’ve never seen death so closely before.  It still seems unreal.  Something will come up that makes me think of her, and then I remember...  This came at the heels of the death of a close friend this summer, which I don’t know that I ever completely came to grips with.  But I was further from the situation.  All I can really do in these times is trust God, trust that He’s in control and has a purpose for everything.  Sitting in that hospital room was definitely a wakeup call for the fact that God is in control.  At that moment there was nothing anybody could do to make her better, no matter how much we wanted to.  All we can do is lean on Him for comfort and strength, and believe that He is going to bring good out of the pain.  

I thank God for the many dear friends He has placed in my life to bless and encourage me and my family during this difficult time.  I cannot express how grateful I am for all of the prayers and words of encouragement.