Who's really working?

I can’t live in my own strength.  Sounds basic enough right? Well maybe it would be if I didn’t have quite the independent personality that I do.  I mean I trust God, deep down, I really do.  But I have this constant battle within me.  Sometimes I’ll say I trust God and then start doing everything in my own strength, accrediting it to Him, or allowing Him to work through me and then taking credit for it. Either way is wrong. I don’t know why I do that, but I guess it’s my flesh working against the Spirit.  Things don’t go well when I let myself get too busy and start neglecting my relationship with Christ and the work of the Holy Spirit.  They may seem like they’re going okay, but it always ends in a crash.  Besides, I’m not okay with things seemingly going well.  That is not the way I’m called to live.  It’s not biblical, it’s not living out the Lord’s calling on my life.  And it’s also not going to bear fruit like John 15:5 says: "I am the vine; you are the branches. If a man remains in me and I in him, he will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing.”  God’s word clearly reveals our calling as Christians, to follow Christ, going and making disciples.  But this has to stem from a relationship with Christ and a life of complete dependence on Him.  I don’t even want to see what my life would look like without the Holy Spirit working through me.  I would definitely not be who I am today.